Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize