i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
