What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
