the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
