3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
