She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
