im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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