well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize