He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
do herpes really smell.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
