She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
