Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
