was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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