you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
