This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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