Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
