the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
