So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
