who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
