i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
