last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
