you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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