So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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