Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
