is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
