You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
