There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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