I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
