if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
