shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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