never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
