Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
