Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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