CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
