We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize