party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
