I wish I could teleport
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
