do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
How does one acquire holy water?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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