hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I have fence marks all over my body
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
