i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
