the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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