so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize