i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
