Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
