He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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