He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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