Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize