I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
