yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
