(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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