Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time

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(313): View more from Michigan

I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)

(708): View more from Illinois

WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE

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(804): View more from Virginia

just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven

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(512): View more from Texas

On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!

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(607): View more from New York

I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...

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(218): View more from Minnesota

She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.

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