he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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