please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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