Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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