you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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