some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
