The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
