I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
