We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
