It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
