I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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