So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
